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View Poll Results: TOUGH DISCISION; THE BEETLE OR THE DAME?
THE BEETLE OF MY DREAMS? 20 74.07%
THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS? 7 25.93%
Voters: 27. You may not vote on this poll

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  #16  
Old August 27th 2005, 11:50
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does your dream girl include someone who would give you an ultimatum and "force" you to decide between your dreams and her based on finances? that should be a big red flag on the future of the relationship. do you see her as marriage material and spending 50 or more years with her day in and day out? if not, then ride the relationship for what it is worth and follow your dreams. if so, then find that happy balance so you can mutually co-exist with your individual desires and enjoyment.

all of the advise given on her is dead on. i come from a VERY solid relationship. my wife has supported be through decades of chasing a music career in many different forms and mind you that she is a pianoist and had those very same desires. not that we didn't have "discussions" about all of that over the years, but it came down to wanting to see the other happy as much as we wanted to be happy ourselves. then add on that almost to the minute i gave up the music career, all of my creative focus went back into the car i had sitting around forever and this site and creating the VKG with the other guys and...you get the point. everyone has to have their outlet or those feelings come out in other ways...usually bad ones.

live your life the way you need to, not the way someone tells you you need to.

and pics could sway any of our advise.
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  #17  
Old August 27th 2005, 12:23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zen
and pics could sway any of our advise.
+1...pics of the girl that is....
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  #18  
Old August 27th 2005, 21:25
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  #19  
Old August 27th 2005, 22:10
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As stated before balance is the key. Im veeeery luckycos ive been in a relationship for 7+months now and i didnt realise how fast time passed. Last winter i didnt have any heating medium in my beetle and it was snowing outside. She would just jump into the car(just like me), roll down the window and light two cigaretes for the road. Then, when I was bidding for my 944 arms my gf would wake me up in order not to lose the auction. Finally when we went for vacation back home (Greece) and we stayed at my home in Athens one night I went outside on the street to wash my beetle.She came down with me and asked to help...Now she cant wait for me to get back and do that again. (but she is going to be more happy with me fitting a heater on the beetle rather than going anywere fancy for winter holidays. The reasons for her behaviour is simply pay attention to what she says, discuss with her about everything even my dream bug...On the other hand she gives me time and space when i need it for my dream beetle. all the previous ex-gfs just kept busting my ..... because "my car" makes "a lot of noise" (clearly disrespect for the orchestral sound of webers along a straight through muffler ) and about their butt freezing. they just didnt like my extension (my dream car which is on a build through road worthy condition for 2 years now).
Sorry for the long post, but i had to state a good example of two relationships working like they should IMO

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  #20  
Old August 28th 2005, 00:32
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Just tell her you are getting your dream car built before it is time to start raising kids. Because when you strart having kids the hobbies get put on the back burner for a while. My kids were 11 and 16 before I got bake into it.
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  #21  
Old August 28th 2005, 04:21
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We agreed to not have kids...Wahoo! LET'S HEAR IT FOR PROJECT CARS!
I'm really heartless are'nt I?
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  #22  
Old August 28th 2005, 11:51
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^^I'm betting that'll change when you get older...
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  #23  
Old August 28th 2005, 12:59
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All VERY good advice here! I think it is so funny that this post got so much attention! It looks like we all have run into the same issue.

The one thing I am pretty sure of is a man without a dream is an empty shell.

Keep in mind though, we know you like bugs, but if you've got like 6 other hobbies, you might want to whittle off a couple, because Dubs are demanding hobbies!

I must highly emphasis the "taking it slow" part. I am really impressed with your enthusiasm, but I've been a little worried so far about how fast you're going with this thing. In one post you mentioned you'd spent your savings on somethingerather, and I was concerned then that you might be entering into a financial black hole as far as what your goals were for this thing. You're goals are similar to mine in the type of car you want to end up with. I've spent over $10000 in the last 2 years on my project, and I'm STILL getting the parts I need. Fortunatly I have a job that will allow that kind of spending, but if you don't, you'll end up with a room full of parts and no money to get it together. There are thousands of half-done project cars out there for a reason.

I am seriously aware that the children factor is huge, so your luck there I guess. I've been trying to get my car to a rolling stage at least before children enter the picture!

Even when you've obtained all the parts for this thing, financially I would imagine you are less than half done. Does this sound about right? So, if you can see your income being able to maintain your spending for a long time, it might be OK, if not, you've got to reconsider your goals my man.

If your GF knows your financial situation and sees you dumping more than you can afford into the car, I can see her feeling like she needed to gain some control. If you guys stay together, then your spending will affect her financial security as well. My last GF was really supportive in that she would say I should go over and work on the car and always ask me how it was going, but again, financially, she wasn't worried. Finances are the #1 reason for fighting in relationships, so if those aren't stable....

I think that dubs are worse than gambling for me, so I have to take breaks now and again to settle down. Take those breaks to focus on her, she might like being loved as intensly as your dub! What happens in the garage stays.....

This may be a less supportive post, but I think of myself as an optimistic realist, and hard decisions are just that. If she really is the ultamatum type though....

Jason
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Last edited by volkdent; August 28th 2005 at 13:07.
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  #24  
Old August 28th 2005, 17:42
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I'd say save the Bug ..
Prolly just a test to she if she has the pants..
Tell her its your car..it has nothin to do with her..
If she's jellus of the Bug she needs to talk with the bug & work out the problem..
But Id say the Bug should stay..
Be a man its not like your going to work on the bug for the rest of your life...
Peace Troy
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  #25  
Old August 29th 2005, 11:45
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Money. It kills more relationships than anything.
My wife knows how important my projects are, if the money is there, she encourages me to get what I want, if I can get free time, she encourages me to get to the shop and unwind... BUT, the hobby is not something to have disagreements over. It is a bad sign of the stabilty in a relationship if there is resentment about your hobby.
It's waaay complex of an issue. There are a million questions to ask yourself,
You have got to be honest and realistic about your answers to get the one answer you want.
Do you blow too much money on the hobby? (late on rent, kids need clothes, utilities been off three times this year?)
Do you spend more time in the garage than with her? (somebody else will be glad to step up and handle your lonely gf)
Is she just plain old jealous that you have any other interest than sitting on the couch and staring into each others eyes?
You need to have a serious talk with yourself, man up and decide if you are really being fair about things.
If you convince yourself that you are perfect, then you need to help her with her luggage.
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  #26  
Old August 29th 2005, 14:35
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Balance, schmalance.

I saw nowhere in either of lazylongboarder's posts any discussion of affordability. So given the evidence at hand, I am assuming that is not an issue.

Unless there is more to this than what is posted, I'd say she is the one who is busted ... and should be kicked to the curb.

And I don't any stinking pics either.
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  #27  
Old August 30th 2005, 11:39
Kafer_Mike Kafer_Mike is offline
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Pick the one that rides better...
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  #28  
Old August 31st 2005, 23:08
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It's hard living with a women, but it's probably harder to live without one.

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  #29  
Old September 1st 2005, 16:49
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flat
It's hard living with a women, but it's probably harder to live without one.

Lanner
That's what I was thinking...

This seems to be an interesting topic, and I find it as usefull as any other... sticky?

Also, speaking about women and the ultimate Germanlook... How many females are on this site? I tried to catch my gf's interest in Germanlook, but it's just not her cup of tea. Good thing, she can't read what I type about her.
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  #30  
Old September 2nd 2005, 05:52
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Lightbulb

All the previous posts are helpful but it still comes down to what you want.
For goodness sake take any advice onboard but don't rely on it.
At the end of the day the advice here will disappear in an instant if the server crashes, you'll be living with the decision forever more.
Me? I'm 34, I've been married 10 years (2 of them happy ), been with my wife for 16 years & she drives a '58 lowlight Ghia on Boxster rims that I built with/for her ...
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Last edited by MdR; September 2nd 2005 at 05:54. Reason: My typing just gets worse
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