Girlfriend or Ultimate Bug?!

[vujade]

both have their positives and negatives...

I can tell you this, if you give up what you desire and what you believe
in for any relationship, you will first of all become resentful of the person
you are with, which will put a wedge between the both of you. Second of
all, you will always long for what you gave up. Your desire for your dream
car will never go away. I have been into dubs for 20 years and I am finally
completing one of my first dream cars. I have built many VWs, but never
to the extent that I am buildng my current one. SO you see, even after
20 years (IM 36), the desire and drive to own an awesome dub is still there,
thru countless girlfriends and even 1 marriage.

Now I am not telling you to dump your Girlfriend, but I am giving you advice
on what to tell her...

First of all, you should go to her and try to explain to her that this is one of
your passions in life. This is one of the things that brings joy to you. Tell her,
that If she doesnt respect your desires now and at least appreciate that this
makes you happy and your not even married, what is it going to be like if you
do get married? Ask her that and see what she says? Also, tell her if she
makes you choose between your love for her and your love for your car
it is a lose lose situation either way. If you pick her and let go of your car
you will always regret it and you will eventually come to resent her for
making you choose to do so. then tell her, if you give her up for your dream
car you will alway regret leaving someone that completes you and you
cant see yourself without her (this should touch her deeply).

Tell her that if she really loves you and truly wants you to be happy in
life, that she will come to see that it is necessary for you to have dreams
and to go after them, for without dreams, life would be empty and hopeless.
Tell her that a relationship is about comprimises, not about sacrifices. Tell
you shouldnt have to change who you are or what you believe in to be loved
by her, but rather you are willing to compromise with her and spend more
time with her, if she compromises with you and tolerates your hobby. (Key word here is tolerates, not allows. Never let her think she is allowing
something. Dont say please let me do this, she is not your Mother and dont
let her think she has the upper hand in the relationship) Tell her, she doesnt
have to love what you do, only tolerate it because it makes you happy (and
maybe one day she will even grow to like it and maybe even participate).

If after having this conversation and you do not get the results you desire
and she is not willing to compromise with you, your next step is to tell her
you are not going to make a decision between her and your car, but rather
you are going to go on living your life as you have since you met her and
that if she wants to compromise with you, you are willing but you are not
going to give up either love easily. Make her understand that it is her that
will be making a choice between you and your car and that if she chooses
to leave you, you will miss her deeply, but if she chooses to stay, you will
make every effort to make her happy while still keeping yourself happy as
well.

And if she dumps your ***, she wasnt really the right one! No matter how
hot she is or how steamy the relationship is, all of that will mean nothing
if your not happy in life. The right girl will be the one that at the very
minimum accepts you for who you are and tolerates your hobbies and
dreams. If you are truly lucky, you may even find someone that shares
your hobbies and dreams!