for S%!t and giggals

[chug_A_bug]

"The Penis Poem"

My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out,
What used to be my sex appeal,
Is now my water spout.

Time was when, on it's own accord,
From my trousers it would spring,
But now I've got a full time job,
To find the blasted thing!

It used to be embarrassing,
The way it would behave,
For every single morning,
It would stand and watch me shave.

Now as old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues,
To see it hang it's little head,
And watch me tie my shoes!

[chug_A_bug]

Two priests are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals.

One of them looks at the other one's penis and
notices there's a Nicoderm patch on it

He looks at the other priest and says, "I believe
you're supposed to put that patch on your arm or shoulder, not your
penis."

The other one replies, "It's working just fine.
I'm down to two butts a day."

IF YOU'RE LAUGHING... YOU'RE GOING TO HELL!!!

[chug_A_bug]

FINALLY, THE 5 ANSWERS WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR:

Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?
A: It's Braille for "suck here".

Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, but "down under."

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet. But when they go,
they take your house and car with them.

Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch.

Thought for the day: What is a man's ultimate embarrassment?
Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.